Which type of dog are you?

When we think of dogs, we have a clear mental image when I say LABRADOR or PITBULL. There are variations inside every specie, but we recognize the difference between the two species is distinct. They are not all “just dogs” and yet they are (if you zoom out a bit). Humans are the same, yet the “specie” concept is not so simple as skin color or cultural heritage. There is a personal factor that might place a Japanese and Argentian man closer to each other than two Argentinians in the same apartment block.

If you tell a Labrador and Pitbull to “love the strangers (people) and the Pitbull manages not to every bite anybody, he has done a great thing. However, if the labrador manages to do the same, he has been slothful. A Lab is capable of so much more love and a Pitbull is capable of so much more protection. The measure of each dog can not be equated to “all dogs”. Somehow we do that as humans. My capacity to protect, or to love, or to think, or to do spel is different from yours. Holding us all to the same standard sounds fair, but is it?

If we are truly intertested in each other, we would add a level of sophistication to the general standard. I do not disagree with having a standard of spelling, or honesty, or self discipline, etc. (depending on the context and the need), but in life we have to understand others, so that we can see when someone’s ability to socialize or to love is impeded by greater things than the obvious. Maybe by being mildly pleasant is a great achievement with my sore back, the intense headache and the stress of strained relationships that I have to cope with in addition to coping with our relationship. For others, or for me at a different time in my life, a very happy and warm person would be easy.

I have noticed, once you give people credit that they are trying, even if it feels like they have a long way to go, that credit releases a balm of healing, and a greater capacity and will to do even better is encouraged. The most important thing is that we love first and deepest, then guidance to do better has an impact. If we reverse this notion, and we set expectations first, with a suggestion that if we step up to the plate, there will be love, then we find it much easier to receive resistance in return – sometimes this resistance is so deep, that even an after-the-fact correction does not reverse the loss of credibility.

So, what am I saying? It is this – remember that if you pat a donkey on the nose first, he will let you spank him, but if you spank him first, he will not let you pat him on the nose. If we love first, we will understand better, and with an improved understanding, we will entice rather than demand, we will be compassionate and show longsuffering, and not go for the jugular of justice.